Mrs. Big

Her name was Linda, and she scared the hell out of me. 

It began twenty years ago. Linda showed up a few minutes late for a board meeting, walked in confidently, dropped her briefcase on the empty chair next to her, and immediately joined the conversation that had already begun. 

Linda was successful, outspoken, and intimidating. 

And I really wanted her to be my client. 

She owned a big company in an industry otherwise dominated by men. Her employees loved and respected her, as did our community. She was one of those people who would tell you the truth even if you didn’t ask for feedback. 

Linda was practical—which is also how she ran her business. I liked her and felt we shared many similarities. We were both smart, we cared about many of the same things, and I wholeheartedly believed I was the right person to give her guidance about her money, her planning, and her philanthropy. 

There was only one problem. I was too afraid to call her. 

Then two years went by.

Over coffee one morning with my client Anne, we were brainstorming possible sponsors for an upcoming fundraiser, and Anne mentioned Linda. 

“You should ask Linda about sponsoring the event. She’s your client, right?” Anne assumed.

“No. But I wish she were,” I said, a little embarrassed.

“Why isn’t she? Aren’t you on the board of the foundation together? Don’t you have a bunch of friends in common? She seems like she’d be the perfect client for you.” Anne was perplexed. 

“Linda scares me,” I confessed.

“She scares you? That is hilarious! I mean, you don’t exactly come across as the kind of person who’s easily intimidated. And isn’t that the secret sauce in your business? Don’t you have to be willing to pick up the phone and call people if you want to make a living?”

“That’s true.”

“Then call her! In fact, I want you to promise me you will call her by the end of the day on Friday.” 

Throughout my career, I rarely experienced “call reluctance.” Anne was right: If you want to survive in the financial planning business, you must be willing to pick up the phone and call people regardless of how you feel. As I have learned over and over, sometimes our feelings are irrelevant. We must do what’s necessary to make it in this business, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes us feel. 

For whatever reason, Linda seemed unapproachable to me. She was what we used to refer to as a “Mr. Big”—except I suppose Mrs. Big would be more appropriate. For years, no matter how much I grew in my business and gained confidence, skills, and knowledge, I still had not picked up the phone to call Linda. 

But I accepted Anne’s challenge. 

I waited until the end of the day on Friday to make the call. I dialed Linda’s number and immediately prayed for voicemail. 

Linda picked up the phone. I awkwardly announced my name and then started to explain who I was. She cut me off. 

“Amy, I know who you are.” She laughed in a surprisingly friendly way. “What can I do for you?” 

I asked her to have lunch. She instantly agreed. No objections. We picked a date for the following week. It was simple.

A week later, we met. I got to the restaurant early and waited at a table by the window. I saw Linda walking toward the front entrance. I was nervous, and my hands were clammy. I wiped them on my pants, hoping to dry them quickly enough so I could shake her hand.

Linda spotted me, walked over to the table, and—wait for it—she hugged me! As if we were old friends. 

Before she could say a word, I blurted out, “Thanks so much for agreeing to meet with me. I need to share something . . . I have been avoiding calling you for years.” As I listened to the words I was saying, they all felt awkward.

“Me? Why?” she asked.

This was my moment of truth and vulnerability. 

“I have always been intimidated by you.” Her eyes widened. That’s when I realized, perhaps I should have kept that statement to myself.

“Intimidated?” She looked horrified. “Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry! Please tell me what I did to intimidate you. I feel terrible.” 

She waited for my response. 

I back-pedaled. “Oh no, sorry, you didn’t do a thing! It’s me. I have such respect for you as a business owner. I have always wanted to work with you. I just never had the courage to call you and tell you that.”

“So what changed? I mean, after all this time, why did you suddenly call me last week?” 

“Well, you know our mutual friend Anne . . . the truth is, I promised Anne that I would call you. Your name came up in conversation last week, and she assumed you were my client. When I told her you were not—and that I had been afraid to call you for years—she could not believe it. In fact, she made me promise that I would call you before the end of the day last Friday.” I paused awkwardly and took a breath. “So here we are.” 

She laughed. Like, belly laughed—and loudly—as if the whole thing were so absurd to her.

That was it. Ice broken. 

Fast-forward to last weekend. Linda, her spouse, and I were reminiscing about how long we had known each other. That’s when I realized that they have both been my clients for more than twenty years. We have shared dinners and events and milestones, extreme highs and lows, and even went on a vacation together. Linda knew me before my son was born, and I knew both of her parents before they passed. 

When Linda sold her company, I had the privilege of being one of her advisors and confidantes throughout the process. Yes, we are colleagues . . . but we are also friends. To this day, she is one of my favorite people on the planet. 

Ironically, Mrs. Big turned out to be a regular person: someone with goals, a need for a plan, and a vision for her future. Yes, she was smart and successful—but she was also someone without a financial advisor until I finally called her. 

We have been on an incredible journey together. She grew her business at the same time I grew mine. Our respect and admiration for each other are mutual. I’m grateful for our relationship—and appreciative that Anne saw through my excuses and challenged me to make that call. 

It made a gigantic difference for both me and Linda. 

Think about the person you’ve been reluctant to reach out to. Maybe it’s a potential business partner you could collaborate with but aren’t sure how to start the conversation. So you haven’t yet. Maybe there’s someone you want to set up on a blind date with your best friend, but you haven’t figured out how to approach either of them. Who is your Mr. Big or Mrs. Big?

Promise me you will call them by the end of the day on Friday.